⟐ november


justin scawful • 7 november 2019

today i am thankful i woke up. life is a beautiful thing and i'm very happy to be here. i'm happy that i have this website and blog to express myself with. i'm thankful i have a bed to rest in during the cold of the winter. i'm thankful that i have a job with a consistent schedule and nice coworkers. sometimes i get annoyed with other people but i'm learning to be more compassionate towards others despite their differences. it is difficult not to judge those around me, but it is necessary for happiness. we expend a lot of mental energy judging others and worrying about their opinions of us and i'm detaching myself from that. i'm thankful i'm attending school and have the mental capacity to keep my grades up. i'm thankful to be in a relationship with a woman i love and enjoy talking to daily despite the distance between us. i'm thankful for the modern era and the ease of access to insightful readings and information through the internet and libraries. i'm thankful for my vehicle that gets me where i need to go reliably despite the implications of our dependence on fossil fuels.

i'm thankful for clean drinking water. i'm thankful for the medical community giving me peace of mind about my health. i'm thankful for the compassion of the people in my life that has lead to be develop into the young man i am today. despite everyone's flaws around me i wouldn't be who i am without their influence. i'm thankful for the computer i have that allows me to pursue my passions so effortlessly. i'm thankful for my friends who care about me even though i am busy a lot and live far away from everyone. i'm also thankful for the isolation i've put myself through socially as it has allowed me to develop without worries of others.

i've worked on zeniea a lot in the last week. i'm trying to optimize the code a lot to improve the bad decisions i made when designing it. i've gotten rid of a lot of mysqli queries and i'm working on making it more object oriented so that it's easier to scale in the future. i'm thankful to have flashwave and the people at flashii to talk to about web development as it keeps me motivated to improve things. there are a lot of things about the site that were implemented as training wheels (mysqli, jquery, bootstrap) and as i learn more about web development i'm finding better ways to optimize them and it is a good learning experience to change out bad things for better alternatives. i'd rather get a project going and be able to see results than spend a lot of time over-engineering custom code that may end up not working or frustrating me since i didn't have the foresight to see all the ways i'd need it to work in the future. that's not to discredit anyone writing from scratch i just know it would overwhelm me a lot.